Superman's "bulge"

One of the worst publicity stunts of the decade was that of Brandon Routh having a huge cock so in order to not scare people they had to digitally make it smaller for the Superman film.

I quote from Wikipedia: In "Superman Returns," the size of Routh's "package" (or "bulge") was digitally reduced, on the grounds that it was "distracting."

I love that they then decided to add 'behind the scenes' footage on the DVD that clearly shows that Brandon has a small dick. Didn't think of that eeh?
Priceless!

8 Hour Cream

The only cream you need for the long, cold winter with dry lips and sore nose.

Supermodel: You better work

Last year I met this girl and we became friends. Actually I became friends with her and her boyfriend and that was quite interesting. But that's a different story.

Anyway, she turned out to be one of the ugliest people I've ever met. Very goodlooking and a model and always on a diet and taking pills on presciption to lose weight and with the biggest ego I have ever seen.
The reason I'm writing this is because she sent me a link to her blog and the latest entry is quite ugly:

"I got my hair back! IIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
I’m back, I’m back. And I love my hair. Right now it's my biggest love."

Apperantly she did a model thing and had to get a bob hair cut.
Her biggest love! Of course it is darlin'.

.think .act

VickyWatch

I love VickyWatch!
This blog is so great that I wish I had thought of it first. But now, now we can all read it and enjoy it without having the hassle to read The Sun.
Basically Victoria Newton is the celebrity reporter for The Sun, UK biggest newspaper. When I read her stories (yes they are stories not articles) I am usually amazed that she can get away with just making up things if it's a slow news day or just write complete nonsense that even a dog easily could see are lies and crap. The weird part of this is that she has kept her job for several years and this year she was voted "Showbiz Reporter of the Year" after winning the award earlier this year at the British Press Awards. And she's on £150.000 a year! All for just writing nonsense and lies 5 days a week. Example:

"ROBBIE WILLIAMS’ ex-songwriter GUY CHAMBERS is creating a West End musical. It will be interesting to see if Robbie appears — though he and Guy haven’t spoken since falling out in 2003."

Robbie Williams, speaking at a press conference in Germany in 2005: "Me and Guy are friends again. We speak now and will be working together in the future, you'll all be pleased to hear."

Guy Chambers, speaking in a Guardian interview in May 2005: "Anyway, he continues, "we're talking again now".

I'm so pleased that this blog was set up.
Read, read, read!
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Back to black: Playlist for a Sunday

I Must Have That Man - Billie Holiday
One Man Guy - Rufus Wainwright
Body and Soul - Billie Holiday
September Tears - Sophie Zelmani
Back To Black - Amy Winehouse
You Are My Sister - Antony & The Johnsons
The Look Of Love - Dusty Springfield
My Lady Story - Antony & The Johnsons
Stand By Your Man - Tammy Wynette
The Drugs Don't Work - The Verve
At Last - Etta James
Beauty Mark - Charlotte Gainsbourg
Would I play with my band? - Jenny Wilson

Hips do lie

After that hideous "wedding" between Short Gay Guy and that Joey girl I just got so tired.
Isn't it time for people to just acknowledge how they really feel. I mean, if you are a short gay guy. Why not marry a GUY called Joey?
Instead of pretending that you like pussy?
That leads me to the coupe above. When will it be acceptable for two lesbians to look stunning, make great films and stop pretending they are not in love?
Oh yes, one of them used to be engaged to that short gay guy.

Midget Fight: End of the world

If you thought there was still a way to save ourselves from total meltdown: Watch this and think again.

FUCK FOREVER

I'm not a morning person. And I drink too much Diet Coke.
And I have a bad temper. And I'm always 5 minutes late all the time.
But this picture made me happy.
At least I'm not this bad at getting my act together.

Pete Doherty was on the shortlist to
guest-edit The Today Programme. But why did
they decide on Yoko Ono and not Doherty?
After a lengthy argument about whether he
was significant enough a cultural figure,
producers only decided it was a bad idea
when no one in the entire Today office was
able to sing a single line of one of
Doherty's songs.

You Spin Me Round (The Slap Remix)

One of my favourite people to look at is Pete Burns.
Just a random Saturday at Ghetto when he slaps his boyfriend or takes part in Celebrity Big Brother and re-re-re-re-re releases You Spin Me Round (Like A Record). There is just something about him. Like a tranny on crack with a taste of staying up late to do some smack in the bathroom of a friend and then hitting the ATM machine with someone's credit card. Not to say that his number one song isn't great, cause it is. It's just that it was the only one and almost 25 years ago. It's great though that he looks like a handbag that's been left out in the rain kind of punk style and his songs are the prototype to what became Kylie and Rick Astley a couple of years later. You Spin Me Round was a top 5 hit here again this year and Pete slapped his boyfriend silly in Ghetto once more and things are the way they should be. Just imagine when we are really old and Pete has had a new face lift and dances in the geriatric ward somewhere and then maybe, just maybe his boyfriend can slap him.

I rarely watch TV as its mind numbing stuff but this clip below of Pete giving Jodie 'porn pigeon' Marsh some serious shit was one of the highlights of British TV this year. They way he just sinks his fangs into her and refuses to let go is pure class and entertainment.

How do you solve a problem like Mariah?

This wo-man never seize to mesmerize me. The voice that makes you feel suicidal, the hair that makes you cry of anger, the boobs that make you turn gay. But what do we really know about Ms Scarey? Not a lot. When Madonna makes 2 hour long documentaries about herself and goes on Oprah to defend her adoption and Michael Jackson goes out in public and smiles and talks about his children and explains that he's not a kiddy fiddler and has only had 2 operations on his face Mariah is always silent. She never speaks about anything. No boyfriends, no favourite films, no nothings.
We are of course extremely happy that she keeps her trap shut as we are sure her favourite film is Grease 2.
But just look at this picture! It's so nice! She's so nice. Just look at the way she helps the elderly and the poor.
Here we were all wrong about her the whole time. She is not a dumb ass with an ass the size of her bank account. She is a friendly and kind person with a heart of gold.

THINGS I HATE

Living in a large dirty city like London makes you a bit numb I have realized.
Or worse, makes you cold and hard.
Usually I try my best not to let it get to me, but the sad truth is that it probably has effected me in areas I'm not even aware of yet.

A thing like public urination for instance. Eww! Yes. But is so common that I don't even pay attention anymore. And no, I might add that it's not that drunken need-to-go-to-the-bathroom-now type of thing. We are talking about people just whipping out their penises anywhere at any time of the day.Anywhere!

Yesterday I was on my way home from the gym and this guy was taking a leak just next to the sidewalk.

And that brings me to the second thing. Just minutes after this I saw two guys having sex in the street. Because apparently we city folk are so numb that we can't even bother to find a place anymore. The street is our bed. I just reflected that the guys had sex and then just carried on walking next to them. Eww.

The streets lead me to the next thing. Jesus Christ, the city of London is so dirty. Never before in my life have I seen so much food on the streets of any city. A whole fried chicken on the side of the road anyone? And that brings me of course to one of the most hideous things ever. Animals living in London. I used to live in a terrace house and I had foxes going through my rubbish! EWW! And they were so used to getting what they wanted that they didn't even care about getting scared if you tried to do anything about it. Rats everywhere let me tell you. And flying rats, pigeons.
They could be the sole reason not to live in a city. And here they are cannibals. Remember the fried chicken?

People jerking off in the tube. Terrorists who blow up the tube.
London has a great deal to offer, but sometimes I think I'm mad to live here with all that dirt instead of having a country side place and try not to think about how much I love late night shopping with a big cup of skinny decaf soya latte frappuccino in a takeaway cup.
I usually buy my basic black T-shirts in Top Shop and since of last week so does Michael Jackson. Spooky.

It's over....or is it?

We just read this hot news!
Rumours has it though that it's just a lie. But then again. Maybe it's not.
Weird guy to have a tattoo after just six months. A bit too stalkerish for my liking.

'Acclaimed fashion designer Marc Jacobs has ended his whirlwind six-month relationship with his 25-year-old toy boy, blaming their age gap. The 43-year-old clothes expert confesses he can't keep up with his lively partner, and they have few interests in common. Despite Jason Preston proving his devotion by having Jacob's logo tattooed on his arm, the catwalk guru has dumped the youngster, pointing his finger to Preston's immaturity. He says, "It's just not working. I have to be in bed at 11.30pm and he wants to go to clubs every night."'

Picture of the day

Tom is one scary motherfucker and Katie just seems like a zombie.
I mean. She was in Dawsons Creek for crying out loud and no one had heard of her since. What are the odds that the ehm straight actor Tom just meets her and falls in love with her? Ok, we confess, we are bit cyncial when it comes to luvvieluv but this is just making us puke. And then having a baby and calling it Suri. What's wrong with people?

But this is so funny! Shh, I'm in labour. Classic!

Never mind the bullocks: Here's Madonna

When Madonna is busy re-branding her self from Disco Diva to baby snatching bitch troll from hell we need to keep ourselves busy until the next album of hers and (hopefully) a new image.
In the meantime (or should that be mean time?) we are listening to the oldie but still very good mash between Sex Pistols and Madonna. Ray of Gob.

Enjoy!